I'll Take Note of the Lesson

Most parents will tell you, if you wonder what your selfishness and self-centeredness looks like in the eyes of another, you need look no further than the same behaviors in your children. I write a lot about the positives of Mommy land, probably because there's far more positive than negative about it in my heart. But, just to be clear, that don't mean there ain't none!

Tonight was a perfect example. We're on staycation this week...the explanation of that will come in another post. But, in summary, this is code for lazy week at the Covak house. We usually do it this week every year because, well, we can. Craig has the time off work, the kids are on week #2 of break, my honey's marking another birthday, and there isn't much happening on the social calendar. So we spend our days on no particular time schedule, flying by the seat of our pants and relishing each family moment. Today's agenda was a case in point: Craig slept in while the kids and I fixed breakfast and laughed. We opened each one of the kids' new board games from Nana (another annual treat) and played them each in turn. Daddy made lunch while Mommy blogged (wink, wink) until it was time to finally get out of jammies and go on a "family date." In short, we gave our days to our kids, just because we love them and enjoy embracing time with them. We asked for nothing in return...until one request sent the evening into a tailspin.

After dinner, Craig and I decided to squeeze in a quick errand to an electronics store (we're shopping for a flat panel...aghast!!) and I asked Grace to keep her eye on Judsen as he circled our feet. And what do we soon see? Judsen, strolling ever so nonchalantly toward the open automatic doors while Grace is 15 feet away staring at open space. Um. Huh? When I ask her what's going on, she replies, "It's hard to focus. And I didn't want to watch him anymore because it's boring." At this statement, I'm inwardly spinning in violent circles until I find myself airborne, flames sparking behind me as I shoot into the stratosphere.

Yeah, I was ticked.

Outwardly, as Grace continues to ramble on, I say, "No more talking. No. More. Talking. I need silence from you until we get home." We then complete the questions we had, gather up the wanderer, and secure the other two blondies, too, before we head to the car. I inform Craig of the happening, to which he only sighs. I mean, seriously, what else can one say to that?

Well, how about this: Grace still has the potential for irresponsibility in the slightest of areas. Red alert! ALL children do. But here's my big learning moment: this moment is also about me, for as stupified as I was with Grace's behavior and her subsequent explanation of it, I've done and said worse to my own Father. I've told Him I'm too tired when He asks me to serve or complained to Him of my sacrifice without sufficient love in return. I've whined about my lack of focus and willingness to obey Him. I've even hung my head in self-pity and wondered if I even matter to Him at all. And this in response to a Son sent to die on a cross for my salvation. Hmmm....

So, I'll call myself student on this one. Of course, I'll teach Grace...again...about responsibility and playing on the family team. About sacrificing for one you love despite your emotion at any given instant. About how it's hard to be the oldest...but it's great to be it, too...and about how love transcends any mistakes we make with any consequences that come.

But as I'm teaching her, I'll take note of the lesson myself...seems maybe I need to be reminded of those truths, too.