Friday, December 4, 2009

What is "Me"?

Walking to school the other day, Grace posed a question which, at first blush, seemed easy. Uncomplicated. But, like most of Grace's queries, I soon discovered that deep-thinking waters were swirling beneath the kiddie pool language.
She asked, "Mommy, what is me?"
"What am I, you mean?"
"No."
"Huh? You mean you're asking what you are."
"No."
Apparently, mommies don't always understand even the simplest of things.
"I mean, when we say what we are -- that we're the 'me' -- what does that really mean?"
Uh-huh. Now you see the depth, don't you? Waiting to know what I said, aren't you?
"Well, baby, I don't know what other people mean. I guess that  isn't always clear to me. And if I want to know and don't, I just ask them what they mean."
Pause here as she ponders.
"Well, what does being 'me' mean to you, Mommy?"
Pause here as I ponder.
"Hmmm. Being 'me' (to me) are those things that I am that I realize aren't true for everybody."
"Like what, Mommy?"
"Well, I wake up every day, and I have to write something. It makes me feel good in my mind and strong in my heart. I think that's what makes me a writer. And I like to think about stuff. All stuff, all the time. I guess I like to just sit and think. But some people like to laugh or cry or play basketball or paint. And I guess that makes me a thinker."
"Does that make those other people laughers and criers and basketball players and painters?"
"Yeah. Or I think that's part of them. Just like being a mommy, for me, is the most important job I'll have. And being your Daddy's wife is the best present I'll ever receive. Some people might never get married or maybe never have children. So I'm also a mommy and a wife."
Pause here as we approach her drop-off point.
"I think I'm a daughter. And a sissy. And a horse-girl. But I'm also an artist, cuz you and Daddy say I'm good at drawing. And I'm smart cuz my teacher's say I understand things."
Pause here as we hug.
"Oh, and I better not forget I'm God's...cuz Jesus saved me."
Pause here as I my eyes fill with tears.
"Yes, baby. That is you."
Pause here as she casually waves goodbye.
I'm in awe of her "me."

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