The Story of Judsen

We can't explain Baby Judd. Yes, we do, in fact, know how babies are made. We have, in fact, had three of them. So we can, for sure, explain the biology of the process. Yet, we still can't explain Baby Judd.

Deciding to have a third child was a 2 1/2 year process for us that began with a two-sentence simple exchange...that created a great deal of tension. It went like this:

"I want to have another one."

"I don't."

Not rocket science, no. But the reverberations of the impasse sent us into orbit nonetheless.

We're not the first couple to reach this fork in the road, and I'm sure we won't be the last. But, boy...those were some tough conversations over 28 months.

Then Craig got sick. God changed his heart. Changed mine. And #3 was soon on the way.

Then our baby died.

We grieved. We were broken.
We were done.

Then when the miscarriage didn't progress, we were stumped. Now He seemed especially cruel. What was God doing? We opted to "let nature takes its course," which meant a potential 6-week progress; our doctor advised us to do our best to resume life (in all areas, if you know what I mean) and wait through the process. We went to Alaska...no way were we canceling that trip because our most beloved Jessi was marrying the love of her life. In returning to where our marriage began, we learned a thing or two - most importantly, I let the pain and anger of our child's passing go. But something physically was still wrong.

Upon our return home, I phoned my physician who ordered a blood test...and then immediately called that evening.
Me: "Covaks!"
Dr. W: "Hello. Ummmmm....you're pregnant. Over the top pregnant. As in checked it twice myself pregnant."
Me: Silence.
Dr. W: "Hello?"
Me: "Uhhhhh...."

So 9 months later, this little boy who shouldn't have been...well, was. 21" and 9 pounds 6 ozs of blond hair and blue eyes. Thick hands like Daddy's. Ears that stick out like mine (the only child who has 'em, btw). He's silly like Elijah and uber-smart like Grace. 

He's full of love: he'll "give you fist" or blow you a kiss or wrap little arms around you and just squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. 

He's a charmer and a flirt and, if you let him, he'll bring you to side of things in 3 seconds flat.
He's our last-born child. A gift. Then...and now.

All babies are miracles. 

All are made by God.

Their entire existence is somewhat mystical. 

But this one...this Covak...just can't be explained. And when our hearts closed to more children...even to the possibility...God sent Judsen to open our hearts again. To change our minds. To remind us that He is, indeed, the author and perfecter of life...whether you're ready to see it or not. 

That's the story of Judsen.