The Grandest of Grand

Valentine's Day: not a fan. Don't mark it with my lover, actually - likely because he's not a fan, either.

It's not that I'm against marking love: I'm for hailing its power and beauty in banners worldwide, actually. Course, that's not what Valentine's Day often is. After all, since when did love become about grand gestures delivered in a single package bowed by dollar bills? Now, I'm not a minimalist, by any stretch: I don't carp for hours about the materialization of Christmas or the secularization of Easter (the weird business of Santa and Easter Bunny aside). And, if one day on the calendar is the best you can muster in the name of love, I won't mention Byron's grave-rolling or Barrett Browning's red red rose wilting.

There is more to love than a day, and that more is usually less in nature. I mean, dare I suggest that every kiss does not, precisely, begin with Kay (Gag on those commercials)? The older I grow, the more I see the grand gestures lying not in what you buy, but what costs you. It's in the Post-It you leave on the microwave or the laundry you fold without prompting. It's in the foot rubs and hair strokes, the secret smiles and sly glances. It's in the way you say his name or you hold her hand.

Maybe there's some wee truth to Johnny Depp's point (am I actually quoting Edward Scissorhands?!?) that the folly of youth is in claiming the idea of love without actually experiencing love.

"I think when you're young, you're hoping that this person will be the right one, the one you're going to be in love with forever. But sometimes you want that so much, you create something that isn't really there."

So, are the grand, often expensive gestures just an idea of love, an empty shell of the real deal?

Yeah, I dunno, either. And, most honestly, I wouldn't be the one to decide anyway. While listening to this little song that made it big, though, it occurred to me: simpler love is for me. It's a journey of mutual acceptance; of living big even in the small; of carving something from nothing, even in the everyday Post-It's, laundry piles, smiles, and glances.

Taking one another just as we are...perhaps the grandest of grand gestures, no?

"The Way I Am"

If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.

Cause I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.

Cause I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.

Cause I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.