We have some really fabulous couples at Vanguard. No, I mean really fabulous. Craig and I love to hear their stories of loss and gain; of failure and triumph; of agreement and disagreement; of faith, of hope, and of love. They're all valuable, all worthwhile. And the more of them we are privileged to meet, the more we are encouraged about marriage.
Marriage is a lot of work. This is a truth akin to the sky is blue, grass is green, what goes up must come down...But this is also a reminder that we sometimes see the forest and not the tree. Is that enough euphemisms for you?
Well, let me put it another way: in our Married Life gathering at Vanguard (about 30 of us - or 15 couples - are meeting weekly to talk, share, and pray about the topics of marriage that are prevalent in relationship today), last week's theme was, "Honey, this is a lot of work!" And, of course, the conversation was great as we remembered the early days of marriage and compared them to what we know now about the effort this pivotal relationship requires. But, as I've been pondering that topic over the last few days, I've come to a realization: maybe it's not a lot of work, so much as it's a lot of awareness.
Over nearly 13 years of my marriage, I've grown aware that the work is what's happening while you're living in relationship together: it's not the focus you're centering on throughout the day-to-day of life. When I'm coordinating childcare for the umpteenth time and wondering if we should just skip the date altogether, I'm not thinking about the work of marriage, per Se. Rather, I'm thinking about the childcare, the date, the time it takes to coordinate both. But when we're on the date, I'm blissfully aware of my extraordinary husband, not to mention how incredibly fortunate I am to have this marriage, this life. Quite frankly, the same is true of other aspects of marriage, too; namely friendships, parenting, sex, money, time, and on and on.
John Lennon wrote the line, "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." Well, maybe the work of marriage is what happens while you're busy living life...the married life. And maybe accepting that perspective allows us to shift our mindsets from, "Honey, this is a lot of work!" to "Honey, this sure is a good life."
Marriage is a lot of work. This is a truth akin to the sky is blue, grass is green, what goes up must come down...But this is also a reminder that we sometimes see the forest and not the tree. Is that enough euphemisms for you?
Well, let me put it another way: in our Married Life gathering at Vanguard (about 30 of us - or 15 couples - are meeting weekly to talk, share, and pray about the topics of marriage that are prevalent in relationship today), last week's theme was, "Honey, this is a lot of work!" And, of course, the conversation was great as we remembered the early days of marriage and compared them to what we know now about the effort this pivotal relationship requires. But, as I've been pondering that topic over the last few days, I've come to a realization: maybe it's not a lot of work, so much as it's a lot of awareness.
Over nearly 13 years of my marriage, I've grown aware that the work is what's happening while you're living in relationship together: it's not the focus you're centering on throughout the day-to-day of life. When I'm coordinating childcare for the umpteenth time and wondering if we should just skip the date altogether, I'm not thinking about the work of marriage, per Se. Rather, I'm thinking about the childcare, the date, the time it takes to coordinate both. But when we're on the date, I'm blissfully aware of my extraordinary husband, not to mention how incredibly fortunate I am to have this marriage, this life. Quite frankly, the same is true of other aspects of marriage, too; namely friendships, parenting, sex, money, time, and on and on.
John Lennon wrote the line, "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." Well, maybe the work of marriage is what happens while you're busy living life...the married life. And maybe accepting that perspective allows us to shift our mindsets from, "Honey, this is a lot of work!" to "Honey, this sure is a good life."
I wonder what our marriages would be like then?
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