As I was digging through our pc's folders for a particular file, I came across a video made in late Spring, 2008. I usually make one each Spring, and have yet to do that this year. So, obviously, finding this was a bittersweet event; yes, I got to watch it again but, yes, I have now added yet another item to my to-do list. Grrr...
But I digress...Watching the video again left me marveling at the difference a year makes. These frames reminded me that we had recently delivered Judsen. Grace looked much more little girl than big girl, and Elijah still had a ton of curls. Sigh...where did they all go? And the last frame brought tears to my eyes: we were in Alaska when that shot was taken. We had suffered a miscarriage just three weeks prior. We were celebrating a beloved friend's marriage. We felt both great pain and great elation. But seeing that picture felt most like a blow to the heart because it reminded me of the turmoil we bore as we grappled with the questions, "What are You doing, God? Are You even who we thought You were?"
Of course, we didn't know then that Judsen was already growing within me, and the fruit of His plan was just a bud of life, existing totally unaware to us. I wonder what God saw when we took that picture: I'm certain He knew our grief. I'm positive He knew of the life to come. I'm confident He was willing us to just keep going, despite our weakness, and most definitely in spite of our pain. He sent a miracle to set us free of our loss.
But I digress...Watching the video again left me marveling at the difference a year makes. These frames reminded me that we had recently delivered Judsen. Grace looked much more little girl than big girl, and Elijah still had a ton of curls. Sigh...where did they all go? And the last frame brought tears to my eyes: we were in Alaska when that shot was taken. We had suffered a miscarriage just three weeks prior. We were celebrating a beloved friend's marriage. We felt both great pain and great elation. But seeing that picture felt most like a blow to the heart because it reminded me of the turmoil we bore as we grappled with the questions, "What are You doing, God? Are You even who we thought You were?"
Of course, we didn't know then that Judsen was already growing within me, and the fruit of His plan was just a bud of life, existing totally unaware to us. I wonder what God saw when we took that picture: I'm certain He knew our grief. I'm positive He knew of the life to come. I'm confident He was willing us to just keep going, despite our weakness, and most definitely in spite of our pain. He sent a miracle to set us free of our loss.
Indeed...what a difference that year made.
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